For nearly two weeks, a plague has been strangling the fleet. No, not a plague of disease. Or of locusts. Not even a plague of "Spock's Brain" tapes. No, this was much more deadly. Much more evil. It was the plague of duck messages. Following the Region 1 Summit in Gatlinburg, TN, dozens of people returned to their keyboards quacking and making duck jokes. It seems that ducks were in season that weekend in the Smokies. And just when it seemed to be dying down, a message appeared that the Fleet Admiral's ducks were being held hostage. These villians, known only as "ducknapper@sfi.org", renewed interest in the duck thread, much to the chagrin of many. Promises of an investigation by Les Rickard did nothing to the countless members hoping to see a day without several "duck" messages in their inbox. Call it a journalist's desire to get to the truth. Call it Regional pride in showing that R12 could solve a R1 crisis threatening the future of electronic communications. Call it what you will -- I had to act. My investigation showed that the address "ducknapper@sfi.org" is forwarded to the Herrmann household. It is my conclusion that the ducks were absconded by none other than Mandi Herrmann, Vice Chief of Computer Operations. I encourage Mandi to return the ducks to FAdm. Smith as soon as possible. Also, I have information leading me to believe that the chief investigator, Les Rickard, is involved with this abduction. Not only was he present at the scene of the crime, but it seems odd that someone hundreds of miles away could solve in a day what he could not in a week. Come clean, Mr. Rickard. Does this chapter mark the end of the duck saga? I hope so. For the greater good of Starfleet... ... let it go. |
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